I am still on holiday. This is damn fine. My holiday yesterday involved nearly two hours waiting in a doctors’ surgery, but still, on balance pretty much: luxurious frivolity 🙂

Funny how old patterns play out … We went clothes shopping, my daughter being a very different creature to me – one of the joys of having children – decided that yesterday would just be a “staking out the territory” day – finding out the best shops and what was of interest and then going back today to buy things. “It takes off the pressure”, she said.

This makes no sense to me. Shopping is not my favourite thing. Why on earth is it less stressful to drag ones’ self from shop to shop on a hot day – see something one might want – maybe even try it on – and then say, “Right, in order to make this less pressurised I will not buy this now but try and remember exactly what this garment was like, which shop it was in, what floor, what bit of the floor, what rail, what size was best … and then I’ll spend over an hour coming back to this same spot tomorrow and keep my fingers crossed that someone else hasn’t bought it before I get back.”   Is it just me? This is INSANE.

Anyway, we got back and I had several bags, several small purchases. Someone, they say it was me, I say it was them, referred to my purchases as “moderate”. I had bought two scarves, three “basic” T shirts, and three sleeveless tops. All the tops were under £10 – one was £3.99.

So first there was my daugher, bless her, trying to be jolly, “Do you remember Madeleine (my mother is never Mum or Granny) that we were going to just see what was there today, and not buy anything?”

My mother seemed a bit vague.

“Well guess which one of us stuck to that?!”

My mother continued to be vague. My poor daughter – my mother’s capacity to deliver the punchline with swift aplomb was obviosuly a bit lacking.

“Emily!!  Just look at all her bags!!”

This hysterical punchline fell like a dead weight between us.

“Oh.  Oh, yes.”

Perhaps that is where the word, “Modest”, came in.

I gradually unpacked each item – milking each moment as I theatrically presented each garment to maximum effect. My mother can’t really go shopping any more and loves clothes. So my daughter was trying her best to be an entertaining Master of Ceremonies; and I was doing my best to be a presenter off a shopping channel.

“I don’t call that modest.”

And there I was, suddenly, an irritated, defensive teenager – feeling got at for being extravagant, “having no idea about money.”

“Well this plan, this plan not to buy anything today – I’m not sure I signed up for that – that wasn’t my idea!” I trilled gayly, trying not to be biting or aggressive. I tried to emphasise the bottom of the range quality of my purchases… which involved me hurriedly ripping off one of the price tags on the scarves…

But my favourite exchange of yesterday was this:

I had expressed my alarm at catching sight of myself in mirrors with make up on – I am, as I said, eminently biddable, so I am doing what I was told, accepting the House of Colour “two week lipstick challenge” and thus sporting foundation, blusher and a mad red mouth (complete with cold sore…)

“Do you think it looks alright?”

My mother nodded assent.

“You don’t think I look like a man in drag?”

“No.”

“Oh good. I think it looks OK – very different – but OK.”

“But I should get rid of that!”

I waited for her to elucidate.

“I should get rid of that if I were you.”

She pointed to my cold sore.

“I should get rid of that if I were you. One’s eye can’t help but be drawn to it. And then it’s all that one sees. I should get rid of that if I were you.”

What does she think is going on? Does she understand about the healing process? Or does she think I am spending every spare moment crushing dead flies and horse manure into a paste and then rubbing it into the delightful crusty lump that is currently my cold sore?!

I thought going back the next day to buy stuff was insane – but this is bonkers!

But, as it was, I just agreed – yes I would. Yes, I would try to get rid of it – lucky she’d told me – my goodness – without such handy and pertinent advice – my goodness – I could have held on to it for months…

So today is another day … and I enter it with my cold sore … healing away … ready for another shopping trip, and another opportunity to have “the best time” 🙂