On the front of a notebook I use daily,  I wrote the words – well over a year ago – “Trust the process…”  I wrote them to help me remember the profound wisdom of these words – and the comfort they bring to me when I remember them – and reconnect with their truth…

This week has felt tough… I’m sure others go through much worse,  but I have struggled not to feel that I am dragging myself through a time that has little joy for me – and that I am not sure that things will be much different for a while…

And then today things started to feel better – partly due to an extraordinary friend – spending a morning with her going round charity shops – having tea and cake – and shedding a tear or two… Receiving sweet e-mails and texts from dear people I have in my life – not my closest friends, not people I’ve known for ages but just lovely people who show me affection with a delightful generosity that touches me. One of whom said she’s missed me not blogging for a while – be careful what you wish for!

And the gloom I felt about my “crumbling, devastated” business has cheered – not through any spectacular turn around – but just from a couple of enquiries, a booking, and two more people wanting my cut price Christmas offer – and a sense that I don’t need to be business woman of the year – I just need a gentle trickle and to keep my outgoings modest…

And lastly I was rewarded – I have been trying to stay open – to trust that things might not be as grisly as I feared with my parents and their future… and… we have a meeting next week with various agencies that gives me hope,  and leaves me grateful for the NHS and the welfare state – we have so much to be thankful for …

So, yes, I did – just about – keep the faith – keep reminding myself to trust the process – and there is still kindness, beauty and hope – even when things feel heavy … and I bought myself an extra piece of almond slice from the cafe this morning to eat later – and the kettle is on – and I’m going to snuggle up with tea and cake 🙂