It seems ironic that on the day that I finally – effortlessly – enjoyed  having “nothing on  my mind” – finding myself in this fabulous place where I was just present, thoughts quiet, taking in the beauty around me… that tonight my body won’t let me sleep.

Stilling my mind is always challenging – but at least I have many strategies to try … my body is more of a challenge. Tonight I seem to have: restless legs, hot flushes and a wandering face / jaw ache which has been with me all day… just as my legs calm down – I find myself with a wave of heat rippling through me … when I eventually start to claw back the covers and snuggle back down – I then find myself preoccupied by odd aches and sensitivities in my jaw and teeth…

But I catch the thought about my body going “downhill” and everything being bound to get worse from now on – “probably never have a proper night’s sleep again…” – nipped that one right in the bud – well spotted that woman!

Instead I use my mind to imagine myself massaging my calves – well if athletes can increase their muscle mass just through mentally rehearsing moves – then why can’t I relax muscle tissue and release lactic acid through visualisation…?  When this seems to have little impact, I stick my leg out from under the duvet – up in the air and rub and knead…

This seems to achieve little but making my arm and shoulder tense and risking making Tom cold…

I resisted getting up to write this post for a good hour … but here I am … am I having the best time? Not really … but today – well yesterday now – was SO good – it was like smiling – all over – on the inside 🙂