Those of you who caught my post a couple of days ago might be interested to learn that the outcome feels very positive. I have never asked for Tom and me to have a conversation about “our relationship” in that way before – a bit like sending out an agenda 🙂 I did wonder if it was a bit melodramatic – and likely to raise the emotional temperature – and be generally unhelpful – but it doesn’t seem like it 🙂
We talked calmly, and at the end Tom had suggested a couple of things he would do differently, which we both agreed should make a difference – and he also said, “I am an anxious person, that is just me, I have always been like it – and I can’t promise that I won’t get stressed from time to time”. And that felt just fine – no drama, no ultimatums, no unsustainable promises – just truth and love – and being real.
So here I am a couple of days later – and all I can see are the good things about my marriage; it seems as if just speaking aloud my frustrations, sadness – mean that I no longer feel lonely or exasperated; I no longer feel I am married to someone with whom I have so little in common; someone who presence in my life so often lowers my mood – all that QUITE GONE.
Yesterday, when I came out of my last appointment for the day – at 7.45pm – I came downstairs with my client – we had expected her husband and granddaughter to be in my waiting room as they had brought her – but instead a door burst open and there was a beaming 8 year old full of tales of having been on our swings, fed our cat, and having been shown my big fish tank … and there was our piano in bits – my client’s husband grasping one of the piano keys in his hand…
And I discovered that Tom had taken it upon himself to invite them in and entertain them for over an hour … and it was just so lovely, and so Tom, and left me feeling so moved that I share my life with this extraordinary man – who loves life, loves people, is generous to a fault – and endlessly, endlessly supportive to me…and, eventually, we found how the piano fitted back together…. 🙂
