The title came to me whilst in the bath musing over the current functioning of my bowel – you can tell I was born to be a colonic therapist!!
Having recently abandoned my previous (almost) daily routine of flaxseed, kefir ( think homemade probiotic grown from rubbery culture in raw goats’ milk!), and quinoa porridge with ground seeds – I discover that my previously perfectly formed poo was not God given – or even the result of my splendid physiognomy! It was hard won through eating – a sometimes not very welcome – super healthy breakfast!
I have been saved from heavy duty shrub pruning! Let me explain…
– having just written my two opening paragraphs above, my broadband and phone line went dead ( we have been having problems ) and so I rang BT on my mobile to be told that work was already scheduled for work on my line in two days’ time and that it might take another three days after that for my broadband to settle…
…I was in the middle of writing my blog – how could BT do this to me!
As I stared at the “Can’t connect” page displayed on my computer – I mourned the loss of my half written post – the inspired sentences – better than anything I’d written before and now – no doubt – lost for ever – nothing I ever wrote in the future would scale those dizzy heights again!! – just to be clear – the first two – now I realise – very ordinary – couple of opening paragraphs were those “dizzying heights” – and not lost at all – amazing how one’s mind aggrandises one’s efforts once the hard proof appears to be lost forever into the ether…
… and so I thought what to do instead? – my quinoa porridge bubbling on the stove wasn’t ready – so eating wasn’t an option…I couldn’t ring / text / e-mail anyone – so distracting myself from the pain of blog separation was tricky…
anyway – let me explain the narrow escape from the heavy duty pruning…
…I have had a man round this morning to survey my house for cavity wall insulation (for the third time!) … he was supposed to come between 8 and 8.30am – he came at 9…
…this left me enough time to realise that I was jolly hungry and should have had eating breakfast higher up on my early morning agenda… it also enabled me to realise that I still had a sink full of washing up, a dirty frying pan in the oven (don’t ask!) , and – because I had decided this morning was the morning to tackle my overly familiar bed linen – my bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it with undressed duvets and pillows in complete disarray… and I had a strange man coming to survey my house – going from room to room – judging me…
…I also noticed the sticky pink plum juice was still on the kitchen table – what if he put his very important papers on it – and they stuck – and got sticky…
…oh my goodness – and we also only had raw goats’ milk – what if he wanted a cup of tea…
…anyway…whilst – drinking his tea and apparently not noticing the goats’ milk – his two sugars probably disguised the taste – he told me that various shrubs and climbers needed to be severely curtailed in order for his workmen to cavity wall insulate us…
…but…joy of joys…I decide to have one last attempt to get out of the pruning, and picked up my phone to see if it was still dial-tone-less – HURRAH – there it was purring away 🙂 Well done BT!
And so I got to write my blog! And am I having “the best time”? Not bad at all 🙂
I think that’s enough for today – I’m off to eat my quinoa porridge followed by kefir and linseeds – I’ll give you an update on my poo tomorrow!
Emily
