Digesting my thoughts – happy thoughts – happy colon

I was sitting at a busy junction this morning – waiting, as one does, for a break in the traffic.

Waiting as the  seemingly never ending stream of  cars went by.

I mused,  “If I hadn’t spent 40 years driving,  and absolutely  knew  that if I just wait,  a gap will appear – then I would be getting very,  very stressed!!

 I would be panicking,  I would be telling myself all sorts of stories about me still being here this time tomorrow;  about missing appointments;  starving to death;  my family mourning,  tears streaming down their faces at my graveside etc etc…”


And then it occurred to me that my calm measured – sane – approach to waiting at a junction was not reflected in some other areas of my life!!   My family could probably write a book about this!!  – including the time I became ludicrously aggressive in Pets at Home when I was unable to buy the tropical fish I wanted  –  and had to be hustled out of the shop by my daughter…


Anyway…  currently I am working myself up into an anxious state about setting up my new business.  I had a very successful therapy business in Norfolk – and the idea is that I will do something similar here in Yorkshire.

But, any sense of reality seems to have left me – I “opened for business” on Monday – it is now Thursday – and because I haven’t been swamped with calls and emails with people frantic to book in  –  I am imagining my life going downhill from this point:  bankruptcy,   house repossession,   living as a little old lady in the cold with an inadequate pension  –  my imagination really is a pretty extraordinarily creative and vivid creature!


So sitting at this junction,  I suddenly thought,   “You eejit!!   If you can be sane and rational about waiting for a gap in the traffic?  Then why on earth can’t you see that waiting for your appointment book to fill is exactly the same?  

You are not Moses – you do not live in some magical universe where you control the planet!  You have done all the right things;  everything is set up ready;  you have a very good eye for detail;  you are an experienced professional; you have done this before…

– now you need to be patient and trust that if you keep doing what you are doing  –  gradually things will unfold in their own time…  perfectly just as they should…  and if there are unforeseen challenges ahead a future you will do a very good job of meeting them :)”

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Emily MumfordView all posts by Emily Mumford