I was sitting at a busy junction this morning – waiting, as one does, for a break in the traffic.
Waiting as the seemingly never ending stream of cars went by.
I mused, “If I hadn’t spent 40 years driving, and absolutely knew that if I just wait, a gap will appear – then I would be getting very, very stressed!!
I would be panicking, I would be telling myself all sorts of stories about me still being here this time tomorrow; about missing appointments; starving to death; my family mourning, tears streaming down their faces at my graveside etc etc…”
And then it occurred to me that my calm measured – sane – approach to waiting at a junction was not reflected in some other areas of my life!! My family could probably write a book about this!! – including the time I became ludicrously aggressive in Pets at Home when I was unable to buy the tropical fish I wanted – and had to be hustled out of the shop by my daughter…
Anyway… currently I am working myself up into an anxious state about setting up my new business. I had a very successful therapy business in Norfolk – and the idea is that I will do something similar here in Yorkshire.
But, any sense of reality seems to have left me – I “opened for business” on Monday – it is now Thursday – and because I haven’t been swamped with calls and emails with people frantic to book in – I am imagining my life going downhill from this point: bankruptcy, house repossession, living as a little old lady in the cold with an inadequate pension – my imagination really is a pretty extraordinarily creative and vivid creature!
So sitting at this junction, I suddenly thought, “You eejit!! If you can be sane and rational about waiting for a gap in the traffic? Then why on earth can’t you see that waiting for your appointment book to fill is exactly the same?
You are not Moses – you do not live in some magical universe where you control the planet! You have done all the right things; everything is set up ready; you have a very good eye for detail; you are an experienced professional; you have done this before…
– now you need to be patient and trust that if you keep doing what you are doing – gradually things will unfold in their own time… perfectly just as they should… and if there are unforeseen challenges ahead a future you will do a very good job of meeting them :)”