Are salesmen supposed to flirt with you whilst trying to get your aged parents to buy a device to get them in and out of the bath?

Is this part of the bath aids salesman’s handbook?

I will probably never know… and it was not that that made him say, “I can see you’ve got spirit!”

Roughly translated as, “F___! I can see I’ve blown it with this one – she is SERIOUSLY pissed off with me – I might even have to duck – looks like she’s going to deck me!”

But then I never expected to have this aggressive loud man – who as far as I was concerned I had welcomed into my parents’ house on the understanding that he was going to try and sell me something and thus was going to be nice to me – and my parents.  But I quickly discovered – as did he – that if you are rude to me I don’t like it much – but if you are rude to my mother – then WAM!!!  You have – as Tom would say – but not about me – “a pocket ball of fury” on your hands…

So I am home now … and exhausted … maybe from being THAT angry – doesn’t happen very often, but probably just from the whole caring that intensely for two people … partly also from going to bed in the early hours, after writing my blog to try and help me to get to sleep,  and then,  getting up early the next morning,  and sawing off branches of shrubs in my parents’ garden in my pyjamas, before my father got up and objected…

In another blog post I remember saying that I reckoned that most stress comes from “trying to control what we can’t control” and “trying to know what we can’t know” … I’ve got a feeling that I also shared my nutrition lecturer’s opinion that the greatest stress is not being fully who we are …. anyone would think that I was obsessed with stress – though as a colonic therapist I think this is a legitimate obsession!

Anyway … what life seems to be teaching me at the moment is that I feel so much better when I am not trying to control things I can’t control – ageing; other people (including salesmen) ; my desire for custard…   not trying to know what I can’t know – what time my new patient will eventually turn up; when my brother’s inquest will be; how long my father will chew his food before he eventually swallows it (my father’s teeth are not standing up well to the challenge of his sweet tooth and his aversion to dental work) …

And it would seem that my blog is playing a really vital role in me navigating life’s challenges at the moment – and I think it is because it is something that I do ENTIRELY for myself – even hanging out with friends and family involves me being nice and friendly…

My blog has no purpose, not tangible value, it has no outcome, I am not trying to achieve anything – I am just being me, chatting, letting rip, sharing, being happy, sad, tired, angry – whatever…. And the magic thing is that I feel my energy levels lift slightly – giving myself a way to express what I feel, share what is going on in my life, describe something that amuses me…

And because I am not trying to make anything happen, not needing to pretend to be anything I’m not … not putting on a persona … not being “professional” or even responsible – just being me – and I think it’s what I need at the moment to balance all the times when I am focused on doing what needs to be done, being who I need to be to be of service …  but yet … I still couldn’t quite let myself type the word “fuck” in my blog…