Lying in the bath this morning it occurs to me that in the last 24 hours I have:
– noticed that the white line that BT drew on my drive has now been washed away by the rain – so presumably when the contractors turn up to dig up my drive they will now have to flick a coin to decide where to dig their trench – fun!
– I have spent 20 minutes on the phone to my mother (who lives 100 miles away) trying to instruct her how to put a CD into her CD player – only to discover it was a radio …
– I have received an e-mail from a group that I voluntarily subscribed to – what was I thinking (!) entitled, “Want to get rich and know what your pets are thinking?” – NO! …time to unsubscribe I think…
– I received the long awaited bras to complete my new bra wardrobe only to discover that one of them was 3 cm longer than the others – and the returns form had boxes to tick with: “too small – not true to size” and “too big – not true to size” – so presumably this is a regular occurrence that they just make bras that are labelled one size but are actually another…
But in and amongst this madness I have done lots of things that do make sense…
I had a lovely day yesterday seeing two friends I haven’t seen for ages and making future plans with them for outings that will bring us both pleasure…
I have had conversations about death and loss and known that this was important because not everyone wants to talk about such things…
I have sent e-mails about ways to alleviate constipation and bloating – because again, not everyone wants to talk about these things…
I had a fabulous conversation about farting – and thought yes! This is my life 🙂 this is the kind of thing I do…
I once spent 20 minutes composing an e-mail entirely about farting – in response to this being something that was making someone wretched and miserable…
The e-mail described an imaginary session in which someone would come to me with this issue and I would then use a wonderful process called The Work – created by Byron Katie – do Google her – she’s amazing 🙂
And the imaginary session went like this:
Patient: “I shouldn’t fart like this”
Me: “Is that true? Is it true that you shouldn’t fart like this? Can you be absolutely sure you shouldn’t fart like this?”
Patient: “Yes”
Me: “And how do you feel when you DO fart like this? Close your eyes think about you farting like this and see what feelings come up.”
Patient: “I feel embarrassed, ashamed, I want a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me up.”
Me: “And who would you be without the thought, ‘I shouldn’t fart like this’? Who would you be if you were just incapable of having that thought? If there was a bit of your brain missing so it just wasn’t possible for you to have the thought? Who would you be as you go to work, wander round the supermarket, sit with your boyfriend watching telly – who would you be without that thought … it’s just not possible for it to enter your mind.”
Patient: pause, thinks deeply, really pictures herself without the thought, “I would be relaxed, happy – just getting on with my life, focusing on what was important, having fun…”
Me: “And so turn it around…’I shouldn’t fart like this’ becomes…”
Patient: “I SHOULD fart like this!”
Me: “So give me three examples of how this is as true or truer than your original statement.”
Patient: “I should fart like this – because if I didn’t let it out I’d blow up like a balloon!”
Me: “Excellent! Next reason.”
Patient: “I should fart like this because it is normal, it is what happens in a normal healthy body – and I want to be normal and healthy.”
Me: “Brilliant! Next reason.”
Patient:” I should fart like this because actually farting can be really fun when you do it with friends or loved ones, you can make it into a stupid game and it can help relax you and, be silly, have fun, and help you be less self-conscious and get unimportant things into perspective!”
So this is my life – not every day exactly like this – but not far off – and am I having “the best time”? – how could I not! 🙂
