On the way back from my parents this evening I had a new experience…as I got into the car, busying myself with putting my seat belt on, waving good-bye, turning up the volume on the CD player… I realised that there was a strong smell of bleach in the car. Being a highly intelligent person I made a brilliant deduction – could this be anything to do with the four bottles of bleach that I had bought earlier and that I saw lying on their sides in the boot as I put my overnight bag in?

I made an instant decision: I would stop a hundred yards up the road and investigate! This I did and as I righted the bottles and wedged them in so they wouldn’t fall over again, I had another brilliant thought: as there was a smell of bleach this suggested the bottles had been leaking…if they had been leaking then presumably bleach has oozed out of the bottles and is now coating the outside…I had picked up the bottles…thus I too would now be covered in bleach…

I think “covered in bleach” is probably a slight exaggeration – but I might well have bleach on my hands. I lifted my fingers up to my nose – definitely a bleachy smell…

My brilliant brain kicked in again – these hands that I had just smelt – were they not the same hands that for two decades had suffered from contact dermatitis – was not bleach corrosive – could, even now, my hands be a ticking time bomb – about to go red and sore and develop welts…

And, almost as if I had been born to rise to such a demanding occasion, I found myself involuntarily filling my mouth with saliva – and then without a second thought – I spat all over my hands – just brilliant!   My next move was to wipe my hands under my seat – didn’t want to get bleach on my clothes – was there no limit to my forward thinking! I smelt my hands – still bleachy – I spat again…and again…

Now the more lateral thinking of you might be wondering…I had this dire situation on my hands – literally…    And I was but a few yards from my parents’ home – all I needed to do was to drive back and wash my hands…but truly brilliant thinkers obviously don’t think that way – I was already on my fourth round of spitting and seat wiping…

At last I was satisfied, stopped spiting, had a last smell…and decided it was time to turn the ignition and drive back to Norfolk…

As I drove I wondered what I would write in my blog on my return and it seemed that nothing would serve as well as to share with you my quick thinking and resourcefulness!

So dear reader what have I learnt from my close encounter with bleach…

When I started this blog one of the things I said was that I wanted to live without compromise and be more fully and truly who I really am. It appears that I am someone who spits on myself to remove bleach rather than going a few yards down the road to wash my hands under a tap…so what conclusions do I draw from this…?

I am someone who doesn’t get everything right – if I had stored the bottles upright in the first place…

I am someone who has a good nose for when things aren’t right…picked up that bleach smell straight away…

I am someone who doesn’t always choose the most sensible, straightforward solution – I am impulsive – I like to find my own way – make my own mistakes…

I am not afraid of taking risks…I ended up licking my fingers too – whilst thinking, “If I am concerned about my damage the bleach my do to my skin, why am I exposing the more delicate tissues inside my mouth to this corrosive poison?”

And lastly, I am someone who takes responsibility for her actions – I knew no one but me was choosing not to put my hand under a nice flowing tap but instead spit on myself, put toxic substances in my mouth…  and if it had all gone horribly wrong I wouldn’t have blamed anyone else – and I would have learnt from my choice and how it unfolded…

So was I complete eedjit this evening? – probably – could I have done it any other way? – probably not… was I fully and truly who I really am without compromise – hell yes!!  And did I have the best time this evening? I really did 🙂